They say it’s better late than never! :) So here I am, back on the blog, to share excerpts of the email conversation I had with Conviction2Change a long time ago. For people who don’t know her, she is (or was, as of 5/09) an anonymous sister who claimed to be struggling with ‘Same Sex Attraction’ or SSA (may Allah help her). She was also the lady who was trying to ‘drill’ certain misinformation in people’s minds regarding SSA, rather enthusiastically. The purpose of posting these excerpts is to show how the ideas she was purporting were more of an emotional clutch for her rather than information extracted from science that’s supported by Islam.
The dialogue started off after I sent her a link to the articles I had written (on this blog). This is what she had to say…
….I read three of your posts in entirety and skimmed the post where you had listed all the comments between you and others from Muslim Matters.
….I’m not going to comment on the blog because I don’t think it makes a difference. I have said all I’ve needed to say on Shaykh Yasir’s article commentary and you can always browse through and read those.
I understand your need to write the type of things you wrote on this blog but I’m not sure what you feel you accomplished. I agree with so much of it and then disagree to such a deep extent to just a few things in it that I rather not even spend my time agreeing with the vast majority of it. I just hope not too many others come across it as it contains too much that will turn people away from Islam more than bring them closer to it, but our Creator knows best….
I feel a need to write such articles because I feel that people are underestimating the info in Allah’s Quran and using kuffar developed psychological causes to justify their same sex ‘attraction’ and misinforming ignorant Muslims. Being a Muslim, I feel a need and responsibility to uphold Allah’s word.
You said: I just hope not too many others come across it as it contains too much that will turn people away from Islam more than bring them closer to it, but our Creator knows best.
Once again your ‘criticism’ is too vague to be taken seriously. Anyone can make such remarks about anything (good or bad). Therefore, such statements do not carry much substance unless they are preceded by specific, concrete examples/arguments.
…I feel that you have spoken more than you knew especially when you said something along the lines of ‘Islam doesn’t teach me how to deal with past abuse. Psychology does.’ Such statements are a gross underestimation of Islam and overestimation of the human developed sciences.
I am a science student and have research experience in both psychology as well as biology. I must point out that your comparison of psychological sciences with the medical sciences is flawed. In brief you need to realize that psychologists themselves recognize that psychology, though currently classified as a science (soft science to be specific), is not as concrete and reliable as the hard sciences like biology and chemistry (on which medical science is based). And good (hard science) scientists are always critical and skeptical of their research studies. They try to look for flaws.
You on the other hand, it seems, have embraced what psychology said about SSA without truly investigating its validity and cross comparing that information with the Quran and hadith. This is a BIG BIG BIG mistake. It saddens me even more that you have written repititive, lengthy comments to ‘drill’ certain concepts into other Muslims’ brains without investigating their Islamic validity. This is something very dangerous both for your self and all the other Muslims whom you are trying to “educate”. Such things do more harm than good.
I suggest you request a delete from muslimmatters for the misinforming comments. If you are up for doing that I am more than willing to point out the flawed comments that you should request a delete for. Otherwise, I feel a need to write an article about those comments as well.
I would never in my life say anything is above Islam, it is not. What I was saying in comments like psychology painting the way to deal with SSA rather than Islam is this: In Islam I am taught to be fearing of Allah, to trust Allah, and how to deflect the whispers of shaytan. This is the FOUNDATION of dealing with SSA as a Muslim. Every time a brother or sister on our support group has a problem, someone always asks in the beginning how that person’s prayers are these days. Most likely, that person’s prayers are not up, they’re not waking up for Fajr, they’re being lazy about the timings, or they’re not praying at all. We spend a great deal of time getting people to begin praying again. Without these basics, defeating SSA is impossible. After this, we look to what wonderful organizations like NARTH, People Can Change, and others have done in the areas of research and developing therapy techniques to help us overcome SSA from a therapeautic step-by-step method that is not outlined in the Quran or Sunnah in detail. What is said in the Quran is what I already mentioned about fearing Allah, having trust in Allah, deflecting the whispers of shaytan, doing Dhikr, praying, fasting, lowering the gaze, covering ourselves, and getting married, and so on. These are excellent advices that we all need and I guarantee you that the brothers and sisters struggling with thise do follow these advices. We have all experienced great changes in our lives because we followed properly what Allah and Prophet Mohammed (SAWS) said. By doing so we have hacked away at a great deal of our SSA, so after that we need to continue what we’ve started with Islam, still hold on to Islam, and do therapy. Many of us cannot afford therapy so we read materials and many brothers go to Journey Into Manhood which helps them a lot. To this day we have never been told by anyone of knowledge (not just shaykh Yaser, but anyone) that what we are doing is wrong.
We only do this for the sake of Allah and that is why we have been so successful in our struggles and we are not like the Muslims in Al Fatiha (may Allah guide them). I do not believe Allah would’ve granted us this success if we were on the wrong path.
…With regards to Islam and psychology, I said you were talking about Islam more than you understood it. In one of your comments, you attributed the causes of SSA to childhood abuse and molestation and hence a ‘natural’ consequence to a certain extent. Then on, you kept repeating that in your subsequent comments intending to ‘drill’ that idea in people’s minds. I believe you took that (causes of SSA) from psychology. And I’m certain you have not investigated that idea for its validity by analyzing it in the light of the Quran. You also refuse to believe that SSA is a waswasah which suggests that you don’t have a deep understanding of Shaytanic whisperings.
I think your beliefs about the causes of SSA is perhaps one of the reasons for why your struggle has been so hard and long for you. You may not have received any criticism from knowledgeable people for using certain psychological techniques/therapy to get rid of the SSA because that’s not where the major problem lies. The major problem lies in your beliefs about its causes. I don’t know how many of the ‘knowledgeable’ people can actually see your beliefs or get to hear them. In any case, it’s not always a good idea to totally rely on the opinions on knowledgeable people, especially when it comes to your beliefs that are related Islam. The best solution is to go to the original source, which is the Quran. Wallahu Alim.
In any case, would you be willing to request a deletion for the flawed comments if I point them out to you and show you where the flaw lies to the best of my understanding?
Do let me know.
Insha Allah if you ever need anything from me, feel free to contact me. I will try to help you if I can or to the best of my ability as Allah wills.
I apologize for any comment that has caused you to be hurt. It was never my intent to harm you.
May Allah make all of your affairs easy upon you and be pleased with you. Ameen.
If we don’t have the privilege of meeting in this life, I look forward to meeting you in Jannah insha Allah.
Well you never answered my question. That’s not really helping…